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Post by alice on Jul 29, 2011 1:40:39 GMT -5
It'd been a few days now... And still... Nothing. She hadn't heard from the Shadows since, no matter how much she tried. The sudden void in her life left Alice lost and confused...
She didn't know what to think, how to act, what to do.... The girl had relied so much on the Shadow's manipulation that now that she was this new found 'free will'... She didn't really know what to do with it. She didn't like it. At all. Alice had been controlled her whole life! She didn't know anything different! Her life had been flipped upside down in five minutes, and she didn't know how to get it right side up again..
Alice sighed, wrapping her arms around her knees a little tighter. She sat under a tree just outside the stables, silently watching a few of the horses graze in the small pasture. She'd been 'sulking' like this for days, avoiding all contact with other people, even James. A few times she wondered if he was worried, he'd been her constant companion on nights like these before he'd gotten hurt... And even though he was fully recovered her current... dilemma had left the girl empty and hollow, even more isolated then ever before...
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Post by James Adler on Jul 29, 2011 2:24:46 GMT -5
The last few days had been...reflective to say the least. When you're stuck in bed unable to move you are forced to confront certain realities of your life. The first being 'Well this sucks', but after that your mind tends to wander from topic to topic. For James Alice was chief among them, rarely a moment went by where he wasn't thinking about her in some shape or form.
Whether it was wondering how she felt, or wandering if she understood him, or whether she could truly handle a relationship, or worrying that he was worrying too much, Alice was never really far from his mind.
He did manage some moments of clarity where he could simply strum on his beat up acoustic guitar and really think of nothing, just enjoying the moment, a self reflective calm. Occasionally his mind would drift to Luke, who he now knew roamed the school. The dweeb was around here somewhere, and he had a piece of mind to give him when they met. But, sitting there unable to move, with no one to talk to he was simply reminded of Alice. Alice and her dark brooding solitude, away from everything, away from everyone, and afraid. He actively shivered at the thought of it.
Undoubtedly part of his mind, the more logical part, found it undeniably creepy that he spent so much time thinking about a seventeen year old girl, one whom he had professed his love for no less, but at this point that was simply an afterthought. It was one of those shouldof wouldof couldofs that no longer mattered. What was done was done, and what was said needed to be said. There was no use in fretting over the past, or for that matter the possible problems of the future. When he got out of this bed it would no longer be his turn to worry, his turn to fret, his turn to doubt, it would be hers, and he needed to be there to support her. He honestly needed to be there to support her, the anticipation was killing him.
Despite his better judgement, he managed to get out of treatment a few days early by making it seem like his injuries had fully healed. In reality they still weren't fully closed, and his body ached as he forced it to move at a rather rapid and energetic pace (he didn't want the doctors to be skeptical of course).
When he finally found Alice she seemed in a world of woe all her own. So much so, that James wasn't even sure how to approach her. She seemed lost in a sea of doubt.
James walked up to her slowly and sat down next to her, folding his knees to exactly mimic her position, but it wasn't pure mimicry simply for a comedic sense, he simply wanted to sit next to her and share this moment as best he could.
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Post by alice on Jul 29, 2011 2:45:38 GMT -5
Alice didn't know how long she sat there. Time wasn't really that important to her right now. All she cared about was trying to find a way to fix everything. But, that was impossible. The only life she'd known was shattered into a million pieces and she was trying to pick up all the pieces herself, trying to fit them back together.
A few times, her thoughts did wander to James. Was he recovering? How badly had he been hurt? She assumed he wasn't dead, considering they hadn't taken a body bag out of the Infirmary. It didn't matter though, he probably didn't want to be anywhere near her ever again. She'd almost succeeded in killing him after all! He'd leave her alone, just like what she'd wanted at first...
Now though... She wasn't sure. She didn't know what was real and what was just left over. Did she want his company? Well, she didn't not want it, so she assumed, in a sense that she was feeling... Lonely? The emotion was very familiar to her, she'd grown up feeling lonely, but never done anything to try to satisfy it.
Alice was pulled from her thoughts as she heard someone sit next to her. Slowly, her previously distant gaze turned to see who this intruder was. Speak of the devil.. It was James, out of the infirmary and looking almost healthy. There was that familiar spark to him that she'd grown accustomed to. Alice on the other hand.... Maybe he'd realize something was different. The look in her eyes wasn't just lost, it was almost like she was stuck in a labyrinth with no exit. "They released you..?" She only spoke because she knew he'd bring up her obvious... Distress if he got the chance.
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Post by James Adler on Jul 29, 2011 3:06:19 GMT -5
James smiled, he couldn't help it. He was determined to stay dark and aloof at least for a moment or two longer...for her comfort?...for his enjoyment?...he wasn't sure, but regardless he had failed. Just being around her made him feel better, and his face was so use to his smiling expression it took effort to try and make it do otherwise.
"Yes, they let me out, and I came straight out here looking for you. I missed having you around ya know." James responded joyfully. He really had missed her, and it took him until this moment to realize how much. Just being around her was enough to make him feel warm again.
He remembered how much of a struggle it was to get her to start a conversation to get her to talk when he first met her, and now not only did she do so with (relative) casual ease, but she honestly sounded like she cared, not on a Alice scale, but on a real scale,a people scale. If that wasn't something to be happy about, James didn't know what was.
James took a long deep breath enjoying the fresh clean air, the scent of fresh grass lofting in and out. It was good to be out again.
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Post by alice on Jul 30, 2011 10:55:12 GMT -5
"Oh, okay." Even though Alice was usually quiet and distant, she was even more so right now. Her troubled thoughts had her so distracted she wasn't even able to try and make a conscious effort to be social. She didn't try all that much to begin with, but with James.... Well she was a little more.... Normal. Now it was like she'd backtracked.
She looked away from him, instead staring down at her arms and knees. Even to cover her obvious distress, she was surprised that she'd even considered talking first, let alone acting on the thought. Maybe it was because she didn't mind his company? It was quite the accomplishment on James' part. Considering there were only two options with her, either she didn't mind you, or she didn't want you around. And most everyone stayed in the 'don't want you around' category.
The girl refused to say another word, instead, trying to distract herself by looking up and watching the horses. Maybe she was just trying to find an excuse to not talk to James, because it would remind her of what happened last time they were together.
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Post by James Adler on Jul 30, 2011 17:37:52 GMT -5
James watched her silently, she was most definitely distracted, this much was obvious. Something was bothering her...it was just hard to figure out exactly what. James sat there in silence with her as she watched the horses gallivanting about.
What exactly would bring her here of all places? she wasn't in her room, or inside so this wasn't her typical depressive behavior...she was... looking for something. James watched her silent and content...asking her what was wrong and barraging her with questions was just not the way to get through to her...If he was going to speak...It needed to be something worth saying.
The horses were beautiful creatures that normally represented freedom and majesty...she didn't understand freedom...It was doubtful majesty would come to her mind either...She didn't seem like the kinda girl who wanted a pony for her birthday...or anything for her birthday...So that was unlikely.
But the one thing these horses had was community, they had a sense of belonging with one another, they all fit in and worked as a group. This most likely was what Alice was really looking at. Of course that still really didn't tell James much. It only gave him a general direction...without much to go on it was probably useless to pry...but then he spotted something.
"Look at that, there's a beautiful black horse over there all by itself." James said pointing over to it. " I wonder why that is..."
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