Just an innocuous advertisement...

[cristal]

+ Gun for Hire +

Need someone off'ed? Eliminated? Done in? Slaughtered? Made into worm food? Eviscerated? Executed? Sleepin' wit' dah fishes? Massacred? Erased? Made no more? Annihilated? Taught a permanent lesson? Wasted? Taken care of? Dispatched? Assassinated? Snuffed? Neutralized? Done away with? Eradicated? Put down? Extirpated?
AKA, Killed with extreme prejudice?

Then you want a professional. One that know's his work, and gets the job done. You want the Mercenary Extraordinary. After all...

Some jobs are just too tough for your average fast talkin' high-tech gun-for-hire. Sometimes...to get the job done right...you need someone crazier then a sack'a ferrets. You need Wade Wilson. The Crimson Comedian. The Regeneratin' Degenerate. The Merc with a Mouth. You need...

Deadpool

Prices negotiable!
Call any time, day or night!
1-300-DEADPOO
(Because 'DEADPOOL' has one too many letters, seriously, we're not trying to be juvenile here, it just turned out that way...)

((Note: Imma dirty thief, who stole the hotline number from here...))

[cristal]

[Yeah, apparently the phone number isn't the only thing plagiarized. That whole 'Some jobs are just too tough' paragraph is the intro to your friggin comic moron.]
”Can it really be plagierizm if it's my book?”
[But you didn't write it, Daniel Way did.]
”Whatever, you guys are just jealous you can't come up with so many awesome synonyms for 'kill' like I can.”
[Yeah I'll admit, I'm jelly.]
[But wait, we ARE you...]

Wade dropped the newspaper he had been inspecting in the garbage can and headed home, discussing the logistics of his own inner monologues imagination along the way.

(/fin)