'Crazy' is just a word.

[cristal]

[And so is 'Onomatopoeia'.]
[And 'Mustard'.]
[And 'Peanut butter'.]
[Peanut butter is two words ding dong.]
[Yeah, but come on! Peanut butter, yum!]
”It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, where ya at, where ya at....”

The faint sound of singing was emanating from the thick shrubbery several feet off the beaten path of the park. Deadpool had FINALLY landed a job, and though it was a small time hit, on some nobody that hardly mattered, it was taco money, and that's all that mattered.
Although the job was small, Wade was still a professional through and through. He'd spent the last few days following the guy to catch his routine and find the best time to do the deed. Luckily his target was one of those boring, daily routine guys, and Wilson had picked up that he jogged nightly in the park.

[Seriously, who jogs after dark in CENTRAL PARK!?]
[Especially if they have Mob friends that want to kill them.]

Normally Deadpool had no qualms about shooting a guy out in public in broad daylight, however, his employers wished for him to 'send a message' and this required a little more time and cover.
So here he was in the park, at night, crouched in the bushes, waiting for a man in jogging shorts, singing an amusing song about peanut butter jelly, and baseball bats.

[Dalacur Nightshade]

Twitch. Twitch. It had been a little long since his last fix. And how Dalacur tried to deny himself of it. But without that fix well then, he'd probably just add more scars to his arms. Then people would just worry. What people? There's people....his sister yea! That was it! Poor little thing would just worry that head right off her shoulders if she saw another bandage wrapped around his arm. And then he'd feel bad. Maybe. Possibly. It could happen.

Now the better question was. Where to get your midnight snack Dal?

He wandered along the paths of the park, eyes glaring back and forth from underneath the brim of his old black hat. Dalacur stuck out like a sour thumb. With his hat and the trench coat he wore, he looked like he came out of a western than the modern world of New York. But he didn't care about his attire. Nope, he was on the look out for something yummy. Something...coppery. Something...red. Just thinking about it almost made him go crazy...er.

It wasn't long before he happened to find the cobblestone path that most of the joggers of the night were moving through. Wasn't this considered a bad time to be in Central Park? All the rapists were out, weren't they? Oh yes, mental note to self, do not feed from a rapist. That would not end well. Stick to the joggers Dal...stick to the joggers.

[cristal]

Deadpool checked the time. The target should be coming through any moment. He unstrapped one of his many guns, and screwed a silencer on. He just needed to shoot the man in the leg first, then he could send 'the message' and be off to collect his hard earned monies.

[You hear that? Sounds like someone walking.]
[Yeah, walking, not jogging, d'yah think he knows we're here?]
”You worry too much inner monologue, that's not even him.”
Deadpool glanced down the other end of the path to see a mysterious figure in what appeared to be a trench coat and cowboy hat approaching.
”I wonder if I could pull off a cowboy hat?”
[Naw, everyone would probably just think we're trying to copy Wolverine.]
”Stupid Wolverine, and his stupid popularity. He's in like a MILLION comics. How does he have time to be running missions in three separate teams as well as have his own wacky adventures in Hell and such?”

Deadpool still had his attention on the approaching figure as he muttered to himself in the bushes, when another sound caught his attention.
[That's definitely the sound of someone jogging.]

He turned to look down the other side of the path and saw his target round a corner and head his way.
[What are we gonna do about Clint Eastwood over there? He's gonna be a little in the way isn't he?]
”So we'll shoot the target, then take out the cowboy. No big.”

Wade trained his weapon on the jogger.

[Dalacur Nightshade]

Food food food food. Well Dalacur didn't need that wonderful copper tasting liquid for sustinance. No but he did need it to make that little voice in his head go away.

And now he heard that jogging coming up behind him. Yes food...

Suddenly Dalacur rose up his hand with one finger pointed outright. His arm turned so that it was facing the all too innocent jogger that was approaching him. "Now now just wait a moment...right there." Dal grinned, his fangs showing a bit but luckily that jogger hadn't see them yet. Being the telepath that Dal was, that poor jogger had stopped, completely against his own will. He turned around to face the man and slowly turned his head upward so he could get a better look at the human from under his hat. "Peg this up to being in the wrong place at the wrong time." Dal moved in quickly, in a split moment he had the man by the shoulder and his fangs were in his neck.

The blissful red liquid hit his lips and tongue, and much like any drug on the market it effected him just the same. His body relaxed and every worry or stress he had seemed to melt away. At least until he felt the emotions and thoughts hit him. Like a bad trip he pushed the man away from him, trying to get the thoughts out of his head. The last thing he needed was more of those. He growled and shook his head hoping that would free him from it. Unfortunately it was a side effect he had to live with. At least until the effect faded. He took maybe a pint if that from the man, it wasn't enough to keep that voice in his head forever. Thankfully. But it would still be a nuisance until it faded away for good.

The only problem now was that the man was now on the ground and could probably bleed to death from the wound on his neck. But was that really his problem? Nah. "Should really put some preasure on that mate." He smirked and used the sleeve of his coat to wipe what blood was left on his mouth.

[cristal]

Wade watched with some amount of interest as the strange man seemed to hypnotize his target. However he quickly snapped out of it as he realized that it wasn't just a magic show the cowboy had planned.

[Tony hired another merc?]
[Another merc with superpowers?]
”What the hell man? And why does EVERY mercenary these days have powers too? I want to be a special snowflake goddammit!”

Deadpool jumped from his hiding spot to confront his competition, however was frozen momentarily in place as the trench coat clad man sunk his suspiciously sharp teeth into the poor schmucks neck.

[I, uhhh, I don't think that's another merc actually...]
”It's a Dracula!”
Wade squealed aloud, an almost little-girlish sound of fright to his voice. (Almost)

Recomposing himself, gun still in one hand, the other hand drawing one of his katanas from it's sheathe, Deadpool began to approach the strange scene on the path.
”Hey, you! Dracula, that was MY punching bag you just munched on! And I'm being paid-a measly sum yes, but still-for services I won't be able to complete with you snacking on him!”

[Dalacur Nightshade]

Dalacur arched a brow as he heard the 'dracula' shriek. It made him sneer and roll his eyes a bit. Yellow eyes watched the red and black suited man wandered up to him. Guns and swords? Interesting.

"Hey...hey...hey.." He interupted him after that little rant about the guy he had just left on the ground. In a blink of an eye he was right next to Deadpool, with his arm around his shoulder. "You need to know this. It's very important. My name...is not Dracula. It's Dalacur. Hear it?"

He pulled his arm from his shoulder and took a step back from him to emphasize the next part with this hands in gestures. "Dal..a...cur. Got it? It's not even close to that name."

Dal rolled his eyes then turned his head to look at the man that was clutching at his neck. "There you go..keep it up!" He smirked and looked back to this muscular suited man that just appeared from no where it seemed. "Anyway...he's alive..you can have him. He'll live, just don't let him bleed out." A friendly slap of his hand on the man's shoulder was given before he started to walk in the other direction. Conflict? What conflict?

[cristal]

[AW HELL NO! He just invaded our personal bubble!]
Deadpool listened to the man in a state somewhere between pure indignation, and confusion.

What he heard as he listened:
"My name...is not Dracula. It's Dracula. Hear it?"
Then he seemed to repeat himself...
"Drac..u...la. Got it?"

[Wut?]
[We know his name is Dracula. All Dracula's are named Dracula, duh.]

Wade turned his attention to the vampire snack rolling around on the ground as Dracula pointed him out.
[Oh good, he might just be alive long enough for the job still.]
He scowled at Dalacur as the man got all touch happy again and patted his shoulder, but knelt down to search Ralph, the man he was sent to kill in the first place. Within moments he had Ralph's gun and phone.
[Oh, a gun, that's why he's ok with jogging after dark.]
[Hey, creepy cowboy is splitting...]
Wade looked up, still resentful he was beat to the punch by vampire John Wayne.

”HEY WAIT!”
Deadpool stood up and faced Dalacur.
”No man touches another man like that without saying 'No Homo' first!”
Once again Wade trained his gun on Dal.
”So are you one of those stake and sunlight dracula's, or will a bullet do the trick?”

[Dalacur Nightshade]

Dalacur continued to walk away. He was satisfied and really didn't care what the costumed man wanted with the guy he bit. But then he heard those words behind him. What? No Homo? Perhaps he was unaware of the rules of this game.

None the less, Dal stopped in his tracks and slowly turned his head. Those piercing yellow eyes turning to look at him while a slight snarl showed. He was pointing a gun at him! Would a bullet do the trick? Probably. But Dalacur was very fast, so there was a high possibility he would be able to dodge said bullet. Or at least move enough to get hit in a non-vital spot.

"You don't want to start something you can't finish, friend." That sneer lingered on his face as his happy attitude seemed to fade. He didn't like guns being pointed at him, who did? He turned to face him completely then, that trench coat turning with him in a dramatic fashion. Tilting his head down slightly, those eyes watched Deadpool intently, even though he only could see one that seemed to perfectly peer through a hole in the brim of his hat.

[cristal]

[Hey, did we just score a 'wild west' showdown in a park at night with a vampire dressed as a cowboy?]
”AWWWWWW YEAH! Epic.”
[Maybe we should finish the job first? Dude might die while we wage our war of awesome.]
”Good point.” Deadpool sheathed his katana and held a finger up to Delacur. ”Uno momento por favor. Old business before new business.”

Wade flipped open Ralphs phone, and searching the contact list found the name he was looking for and hit dial. Fishing a slightly crumpled index card out of one of his belt pouches, he handed both it and the now ringing cell phone back to the wounded man on the ground.
”Read it.”

The man looked at who Deadpool had dialed on the phone and his eyes got wide. "Tony sent you? But, it was-I..."
The line picked up and a voice could be heard muffling some sort of greeting.

”I said read it.” Deadpool brought his gun up to point it at Ralph, who gulped, and turned his gaze to the note.

"Tony says nice try, but no cigar."

”Turn the note over.”

Ralph flipped the note, "And-and Deadpool says..." The mans expression turned confused and he looked back up at the mercenary, "What?"
Wade put the muzzle of the gun against the mans head, and he hurried to comply.
"And Deadpool says, 'You just lost The Game...?"

There was a loud bang as Deadpool fired the weapon, and Ralph fell over with a thud. Deadpool pick up the cell phone, chuckling to himself, and flipped it shut.

[Trolololol!]

”Ok, all done, now, where were we again Dracula?”
He turned back to Delacur, drawing one of his swords.

[Dalacur Nightshade]

Dal's brow arched to the way he made him pause. Those eyes turned into a roll while he waited. Why was he waiting? Why was he listening to this crazy man in a red and black suit.

He watched as Deadpool made the man read a card then shot him in the head. That was, interesting. But as soon as the masked man stood up again to address him, he was back to calling him Dracula again. Another snarl came past his lips.

Swords? He wanted to fight with swords? Why fight with swords when you could fight with your fists? Hmph. This was getting annoying more than interesting. "Why don't you go find someone else to kill." Dalacur turned around simply and waved his hand through the air dismissively as he walked away.

He didn't have time to deal with this. Not that he really had anything to do, he just didn't want to deal with another psychopath. Two crazy people together was never exactly a good thing. And while Dal was crazy, and would admit it...he wasn't necessarily proud of it. You'd be crazy too if there were tons of thoughts wandering through your heada that wasn't yours.

[cristal]

[Someone else to kill?]
”Oh hey! You know of another job? That'd be great, cuz I love mayhem and all, but it's always better to be getting paid for it-hey, where are you going!”
Wade broke into a jog to try and catch up with Delacur, continuing to babble as he closed the gap.
”Don't get me wrong, I'm still into stakin' me a Dracula, but doing hero work is pro bono, and this job's not paying much, I couldn't even afford ammo for my sheep cannon, which is what I really wanted to use on this hit. You ever even seen a sheep cannon blow a guy up? Now THAT is entertainment.”

By now, Wade had caught up with Del and was keeping pace abreast of him, the blade of his katana resting on his shoulder.
”Speaking of entertainment, you ever listen to Tenacious D? They totally rock my socks off. And don't even get me started about Jack Black movies. You know he's gonna be in the Muppets movie? But you know I'll watch the hell outta that flick just cuz Amy Adams is in it anyway. Rwwwaaowr, if ya catch my drift! Winkwink.”
[You know, I don't care what people say about Draculas, this guy is pretty cool people.]
[Yeah, great conversational partner. Still wanna blow his brains out though. Do you think that means we need therapy?.]

[Dalacur Nightshade]

A sheep cannon? That was weird. But Dalacur kept going, mostly because this man was annoying and yet he continued to follow. His staking reference made him cringe slightly, though he did a good job of hiding it. While he wasn't a vampire per se...a stake to the heart would still kill him, just like any man. And knowing this guy then it would just prove to him that he was a vampire. Damn mutation.

Dalacur could drive himself into a deep depression over it, except that his moods would change eventually. Which he supposed was a good thing. "I'm afraid I don't find his humor..humorous." Jack Black was almost as bad as Will Ferrel. But as he mentioned the muppet movie Dalacur let out a bit of a gasp. "I can't wait for that movie! I hope its good and now like some of the last crap they pulled out. Jim Henson has been rolling around in his grave."

Then Dalacur went a little silent with the way he mentioned the woman. "She's all right. A little too...perky for my taste." Dal gave a little shrug. Not that he could really find anyone that'd put up with his constant mood swings.

[cristal]

”Well of course Amy Adams isn't as sexy as Bea Arthur. You'll always hold a special place in my heart oh goddess of beauty!”

[LE GASP! He's a muppet fan! That proves this man is an evil Dracula!]
[How does being a muppet fan prove evil intent?]

”Note to self: Rob grave of Jim Henson, make a muppet out of his bones. Heheh, good times.”

Deadpool suddenly stopped walking and sheathed his sword in a rather over dramatically serious fashion.
”Ok dude, here's the deal: I'm still on the fence as to whether your an evil Dracula or not. This of course has little effect on if I'd work with you or not on a hit if the pay were good enough, so lets just set that subject aside for now.”

[Quiet other inner monologue voice! Shit's about to 'go down'...]

”My point is, if you're the evil type of Dracula, Imma kill you, and heavily publicize the fact that I did so people will notice me-err, think I'm a hero-uh rather...”
[How can we say this without sounding like a lonely pathetic looser looking for attention?]
”Moving on. If you're not an evil Dracula, we can hang out and talk about stuff. And I know what your thinking! How can I possibly prove you are evil? Because if you were evil you could just lie and say your not. But don't worry. I have a plan.”
[What plan? We were not notified of any plan. Are you keeping things from us again?]

Deadpool removed one of his guns.
”This plan is fool-proof. Surely it will work.”
Wade held the gun up to his own head...
[Hold the phone! How is this gonna prove anyth-]
And pulled the trigger, falling to the ground with a thud as the sound of the gunshot reverberated through the park.

((yeah, I think I ended this really randomly, even for one of my posts...
>.>

Oh well, here have a funny and relevant picture as a way of my apology:))